Monthly Archives: March 2009

How to Honor the Memory and Celebrate the Memory of Jack Schwartz by Using LinkedIn

When first published, this post proposed a usage of LinkedIN related to Jack.

Several close friends and colleagues commented that this was inappropriate.
They were completely right, and I apologize for any discomfort I may have caused.

The project is hereby terminated.

Seeking loan of volumes 1-3 of Dunford and Schwartz

I would consider it a great personal favor if someone could loan me a copy of Volumes 1-3 of Dunford and Schwartz. I am currently unemployed, and just learned that each volume costs about one hundred dollars, even for a used copy.

I request this so I can provide some instruction in mathematics to Jack’s two grandchildren.

I would need them for at most a few months.


An authoritative opinion that Lorgaine v. Merkel is not an opinion as authoritative as some would have it

Though I’ve been told I am a purveyor of great authority.

Some are born Twitters, some achieve Twitness, and some have Twitness thrust upon them

My first post on my neologism TWIT — The Wayward Internet Technologists — took as its title one of the Bard’s most quoted phrases:

Some are born TWIT’s, some achieve TWITness, and some have TWITness thrust upon ‘em

It remains an open question whether my creation of this neologism explains how got its name, but that is work for another day.

I recently wrote a post on what I deemed the best twit I had yet seen, and wrote a terse reply, in the form of a URL. I obtained the URL via, so the URL was the message, “”

Sad to say, one cannot use “!” as part of a URL. If “!” could be used in a URL, then just one character would have sufficed:


I would have thus tweeted the shortest possible tweet that could have any meaning. See On Steve O’Grady’s post: “Where to Innovate? Let Others Make the Call”.

I understand that Twitter has become quite the rage lately. See for example the recent twitting of @latone.

I wish to encourage everyone to become an active twitter. In particular, I encourage everyone to try to tweet more than @jgovernor, who has turned twitteritis into a near fatal malady.

Rest assured that I will not compete in this area, for I am waiting for the blogosphere to empty as bloggers flee to tweet. Then I will have it all to myself.

In order to encourage more twitting, and not just the volume of twitting, but the art of it. I will periodically offer TWIT “Victor Hugo” awards in the following areas:

  • Best tweet;
  • Worst tweet;
  • Funniest tweet;
  • Shortest tweet;
  • Best tweet of 140 characters;

On writing this I realize that I have been working in the last area recently. As I see the count of remaining characters near zero, I rewrite the tweet to use all 140 available characters, giving myself a gold star if I can do this without having to use backspace or delete once fewer than twenty characters remain.

We all know that tweeting is fun. Now it can be rewarding

My Reply To Sandy Carter’s Great Tweet

I have just posted the following tweet in reply


The Best Tweet I Have Ever Seen

Here is by far the best tweet I have seen to date:

sandy_carter: First 5 to register 4 #ibmimpact by 3/31 & get 1-1 w/Jerry Cuomo!Email conf 2

I have never seen so much information so concisely expressed. Not one wasted character!

Moreover, though the tweet is accessible to all, you have to be quite knowledgeable to understand why she has taken the liberty of putting an exclamation mark after Jerry’s Name even though that increases the length of the tweet.

Sandy, Great Job.

Keep up the good work.

Dave Shields’s New Job: Under Assistant East Coast Library Man at the Jacob T. Schwartz Memorial Library

I have a new job. It is a volunteer position, so I will be doing it on my own time and on my own dime.

I am the first Under Assistant East Coast Library Man of the Jacob T. “Jack” Schwartz Memorial Library.

I’ll keep you posted, so you can check us out.

Well I’m waiting at the bus stop in downtown NYC
Well I’m waiting at the bus stop in downtown NYC
But I’d much rather be on Mercer near Broadway

Well I’m sitting here thinkin’ just how sharp I am
Well I’m sitting here thinkin’ just how sharp I am
I’m an under assistant east coast library man

Well I checkout groups when they come into town
Well I checkout groups when they come into town
Well they laugh at my toupee, they’re sure to put me down

Well I’m sitting here thinking just how sharp I am
Yeah I’m sitting here thinking just how sharp I am
I’m a necessary talent behind every book, I am

Yeah, I’m sharp
I’m really, really sharp
I sure do earn my pay
Sitting at the desk every day, yeah
I’m real real sharp, yes I am
I got a Corvette and a seersucker suit
Yes I have

Here comes the bus, uh oh
I though I had a dime
Where’s my dime
I know I have a dime somewhere
I’m pretty sure……..




Announcing the Jacob T. “Jack” Schwartz Memorial Library

Jack Schwartz spent his life showing by example that the best way to learn about something is to try to do it, particularly if you do not have any skill, just an interest.

So I am going to become a librarian. I am also going to try to build a library, to honor Jack’s memory and to celebrate his life.

I have reserved a few shelves in that library for the history of Jack and Russia. I would like to write some of that history myself. The tentative title of the book is, “On Russia: Jack Schwartz.” It will be to Russia and Jack what “On Programming” was to Jack and programming languages.

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